For a while now, I've been re-reading a comic strip from Ohio University that the creator (who happens to be my ex-husband) has been blogging about 20 years later. It's about college as a "Breaking Point", and the smaller points of decision/derision/derailment/discovery for each of the characters involved.
The last couple of weeks I've been thinking about how this tragedy is a breaking point for me. But not only for me. I think that my relationship with my husband and family will come out stronger, but I worry about how far and how deep the cracks of this will spread into my neighborhood, my circle of friends, my community...will we break apart? Or will the welds we use to fix the break end up making us stronger?
Nan was a hub. The wheel is now spinning freely. This bit of poetry also keeps running through my mind:
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold -- William Butler Yeats
Friday, August 08, 2008
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3 comments:
Things which seemed permanent show themselves to be utterly mutable. I love a good fair weather friend when the weather is fair, but there is little use for them when things are storms arrive (excuse the abused metaphor) which is as it should be, I suppose.
What has happened is a massive disturbance in your community. There will be those who cannot maintain relationships which remind them of Nancy, or will try desperately to live as though this has not happened. And that is unfortunate.
I do not envy you the coming months and years. I do not believe in "closure", but I do believe in healing, and change, and the ability for human beings to cope with just about any terrible thing that happens to them.
You will be strong. I know that better than a lot of people.
D,
I have been reading about Nancy during the past week-- every newspaper article, every blog post I can find. I find myself deeply shaken by this tragedy, not only because she was a beautiful person and it IS a true tragedy-- for her, for you, for her children, her twin, her parents, your community (I now realize that when you told me more than a year ago that two of the people in your group of friends were having an affair that it was Brad, wasn't it?).
It really resonates for me because you are so close to this situation-- I have seen quotes from you, blurbs from your affadavit (though I didn't actually find yours), pictures of you in the press-- it's all so visceral and horrible, like a bad dream you can't wake up from.
But I am also gripped by this story because of the similarities in my first marriage and Nancy's. It does not escape me, even for a moment, that this could have been me. I don't know whether the affadavits's suspicions about who ended her life are accurate are not-- I sincerely hope not for the sake of those two beautiful little girls-- but regardless, it's a dark, ugly situation with the ugliest of all endings.
My thoughts are truly with you.
Jen
"every blog post" -- well, I wouldn't believe half of what you read in the press or the blog posts, but then again I'm hiding from alot of it. I'm just too close and too much of it hurts --- the truth and the lies and the wild speculations. Give me a call sometime and I can edit the information for you. :)
"the ugliest of all endings". Yes. I really miss her so much, and don't see any reason for her death. For some reason, I'm back in the denial stage today...I was out to lunch at a place we would often meet, and kept expecting to run into her.
I'm so glad your story did not end this way, I know how scary that was. I'm so proud of you for getting out.
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